Once All of the Graves Have Been Punched
by chelseyelric
Summary: Randy and Howard make a Grave Puncher themed porno.


Happy Holidays, Weinerham shippers! I hope you're all enjoying yourselves with your family and friends. I wrote this as a surprise present for the fabulous hyperdolk and ijustwanttodrawnsfw and basically for anyone who enjoys Weinerham. I didn't think I'd actually post it in time for the holidays but I surprised myself and finished early (which is good because I'm basically going to be busy from now until after the night of Christmas Day.) Enough talk, I say! On with the PWP (porn without plot)! XD

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Randy carefully adjusted his camera on the makeshift stand that he and Howard had made to keep it at a good filming height. The rig wasn't anything fancy, but it would work.

"C'mon, Cunningham," Howard grumped, crossing his arms while he leant against the pole of Randy's bunk bed. "You've already messed with it, like, a bajillion times. We don't have all night."

"I want it to be perfect, that's all."

"Pft," he huffed. "Actors."

After another minute of messing with their equipment, Randy turned around and fluttered his eyes, placing his hands on his slim hips. He was wearing nothing but a baggy, black T-shirt that read 'GRAVE' in bold letters across the chest and a pair of tight black briefs.

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Weinerman."

The redhead smiled and sighed, "'Bout time." He was wearing a form fitting, white wife beater, a pair of faded jeans and a studded skull belt, aka Grave Puncher's signature outfit. Only one thing was missing.

"How're they gonna know who I am without the gloves?"

Randy shook his head. "Howie. Sweetie. Babe. We've been over this. Gloves aren't sexy. Can you imagine boxing gloves in a porno?"

Howard shrugged and said, "Yeah, I know, I'm just saying that I don't exactly look Grave Puncher-y without 'em."

"Tell you what," the ravenette suggested, "I'll be sure to call you 'Grave Puncher' every chance I get so that no one gets confused. Okay?"

This idea seemed to appease any worries Howard had about possible confusion. "That works. You ready to start?"

"Oh, I was born ready," came his cocky reply. Randy walked over to the camera and hit the 'record' button before scurrying off to the far left of the screen. "Action," he whispered.

Without missing a beat, Howard sauntered confidently into center screen, occasionally throwing punches at imaginary enemies. After a few moments, he stopped and recited loudly, "I can't believe that I've punched all the graves. What do I do now?"

Randy, taking his cue, crept in a way that he hoped was stealthy (but definitely wasn't) and stood perfectly still just in front of the redhead.

"Oh no! It's Grave Puncher! And I'm...a grave!" he called stiffly, pointing at his shirt to prove his point. "I hope he doesn't find and punch me!" The lanky youth tried to look nervous without smiling but it wasn't really working.

Howard moved next to his biffer and cried "Aha! A grave! And I thought I'd punched them all! Well, I'd better live up to my name and punch this grave!"

Covering his face dramatically, Randy begged, "Please don't punch me, Mr. Grave Puncher!"

"Holy cheese!" Howard screamed in a way that sounded more loud than surprised. "You can talk?"

"Yes, I can talk. I was once a simple grave but-," Randy looked at the palm of his hand mid-line to review Howard's hastily written script. "A passing sorcerer enchanted me to feel and talk and move like a human just...'cause."

The ravenette gave Howard a look because of how cheesy and random his backstory sounded but Howard positively beamed, obviously proud of what he'd written.

"That's amazing and makes absolute, total, perfect honkin' sense!" he shouted. "But, alas, you are a grave and I am Grave Puncher. I have no choice but to punch you." Howard's fist slowly rose above and behind him in preparation to swing.

"Wait!" Randy called, throwing his arms wide in front of him only to accidentally catch the edge of the camera stand and knock it to the ground.

Of course, what followed was a mad scramble with mumblings of: "Oh cheese, you honkin' shoob!" and, "Sorry! My bad. I can edit that out."

It didn't take long to correct the camera and its angle, so they picked up right where they'd left off.

"Wait!" Randy called, this time with a little less enthusiasm. "Please, have mercy! I'm far too young and pretty to be crushed. Is there..." Randy looked down at his own body and shook his hips in a slow, suggestive manner. "Anything _else_ you could do to me to live up to your name?"

The shorter youth eyed the movements with obvious hunger, enjoying the show. "Well, there is one way."

"Anything! Just name it!" Randy begged.

Howard stepped closer to Randy and, despite their obvious height difference, confidently pulled the boy dressed as a grave into a messy kiss. Tongues darted, lips smacked and hands roamed. After he gently bit Randy's bottom lip, Howard pulled back with a satisfying 'pop' and said, "I'll just have to punch the back of your throat with my cock until you wish that I'd destroyed you."

The carnal desire in Howard's chocolate eyes and the sure way that he just...said it had Randy's legs feeling weak with arousal and embarrassment. In just a few moments, he'd become so turned on that he could hardly think.

Luckily, he didn't really have to. Howard's guiding hand on his shoulder was enough to remind him of what he was supposed to be doing, and he knelt down in front of the redhead without protest.

"Yes, Mr. Grave Puncher," Randy affirmed as Howard undid his belt and jeans. "Whatever you say. "

The redhead finally released his swollen cock and Randy couldn't take his hazy, lustful eyes off of it.

This was the cock he'd seen more times than he could count, had given him so much pleasure, had loved him as deeply inside as possible and he knew it would continue to do so. Now, with the help of their camera, he could watch it for himself over and over again and the very idea had his own cock pulsing with anticipation.

Randy bent down, as if to worship the impressive appendage, and positioned himself on his hands and knees to better compensate for Howard's low-set waist. The ravenette willingly dipped his head and parted his lips to allow his best friend's length to slide into his waiting mouth.

Randy could feel himself start to drool at the sensation of hot, firm flesh heavy on his tongue and Howard's cock began to move more freely because of it. The shorter youth's taste never failed to arouse him. Randy was reminded of that fact as his own, hard length shifted, almost uncomfortably, in his incredibly tight briefs, smearing the precum that had gathered there on his flat belly.

Howard's masculine smell was almost hypnotic in addition, but the rhythmic bumping of Randy's forehead on the bottom of the youth's large belly kept him grounded in the moment. He wanted to take in as much as possible, feel Howard's balls on his face and his nose in Howard's thick, red curls while he worked him and loved him with his mouth. Randy was almost tempted to ask Howard to let him lay on his back while he sat on his face and shoved his cock further into his waiting throat until the object of his lusty thoughts spoke.

"You ready?" Howard whispered so the camera wouldn't hear, grabbing a handful of the ravenette's hair. Remembering what they were doing and staring over at the camera, Randy locked eyes with Howard and nodded twice with the redhead's length still trapped between his lips, signaling that he was, in fact, ready.

The lanky youth inhaled deeply through the nose and, as soon as he heard Randy's breath release, Howard began to 'punch' the back of Randy's throat. Luckily for both, they'd practiced this many times. Randy knew how much of Howard's length he could take without choking and Howard knew how hard and fast to go before it became uncomfortable for Randy.

From his position on the floor, Randy could feel his eyes involuntarily start to water. But he kept up with Howard's bruising pace until he began to get lightheaded from lack of oxygen. He gently tapped the back of Howard's thigh, which was their longtime signal for his need to catch a breath.

Howard, using the handful of hair he already held, pulled Randy's mouth off his now sloppily wet cock. The taller drew in ragged breaths, his face flushed and chin covered in broken strings of saliva, but Howard's grip didn't loosen on his dark locks.

"How'd you like those punches?" He asked as he evened his own breathing and touched his wet tip to Randy's left cheek.

Randy closed his left eye involuntarily. "They felt so good How-Mr. Grave Puncher," he corrected himself quickly. He'd almost let the act slip in his haze. "Please, do it again?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Howard growled with a smirk, gently tapping his cock against the same cheek. Randy nodded, but with his hair in Howard's fist, it restricted most of the movement.

"Well, I'm done with punching your throat. I'm gonna move onto your ass now."

This sobered Randy a bit and he looked quizzically at the redhead. That wasn't a part of the script they had agreed on but with a look at Howard's face, Randy could tell that this wasn't up for debate. Not that he was complaining.

"We don't have any lube," the ravenette whispered, breath still heavy and cheeks red. Howard just smiled and brought his face closer to Randy's. "Don't need any."

Before Randy could ask anything else, Howard shoved him gently onto his back. "Spread 'em."

The lanky youth submissively complied, opening his gracefully long legs wide and presenting his wet briefs so that his boyfriend could to do as he liked.

Howard used his left hand to pull the cloth out of the way and sucked quickly on three of his free hand's fingers. He eyed Randy as he teasingly circled his entrance with one of his slick digits.

"Relax," Howard warned, but it was unnecessary. Randy had been with Howard many times by now and knew to take slow, deep breaths to loosen his muscles. A single, dainty finger slid shallowly in and out of his hole to give Randy a chance to adjust. Patience was key and they both knew from experience that the more time they spent preparing, the better the sex would be.

The burn was a bit unfamiliar and Randy turned his head back and forth to try and compensate for the odd sensation. The ravenette had become used to the smooth glide of store bought lube, but this brought up not so distant memories of when he and Howard had first begun experimenting with each other. As he felt Randy loosen, the redhead eased a second finger in.

"Just like when we started dating, huh, Howie?" Randy mumbled, smiling. His dark bangs stuck haphazardly to his sweaty forehead as he looked at Howard from the corner of his eye in an attempt to be flirty.

He had no idea how those words effected Howard. It made his cheeks heat up and chest clench tightly at the saccharine notion until he had to still his movements.

"Don't be gettin' all sentimental on me, Cunningham," he warned weakly as he picked up where they'd left off. "This is a porno."

"Yessir." Randy replied, smiling.

"How 'bout this punching?" Howard asked louder, to make sure that his voice was heard by the camera, as he began to pick up the pace of his hand.

Randy moaned loudly, the tip of his erection bumping against his lower stomach with each shove of Howard's arm. "It's so good, Mr. Grave Puncher," he keened as Howard began stretching with a third finger. The ravenette had to actively remind himself to stay loose as the stretching became more intense.

"Well, get ready," he said, sliding and curling his fingers. "It's gonna get better."

Pulling his fingers from his biffer with a wonderfully wet sound, Howard tugged his own pants and boxers down fully, kicked them away and spit into his hand. He quickly slicked his length and lined himself up, pressing the head of his cock snugly against Randy's hole.

"Let's start with some warm up punches," was his only warning before pressing the tip past the ravenette's puckered ring.

Randy threw his head back in a silent scream, the back of his skull hitting the carpet, but knew that he had to relax, had to steady his breathing. This was only the tip and he had to take in a lot more, wanted to take everything just as he had before. They'd been having sex with each other for so long, but familiarity didn't change the fact that asses weren't built to have cocks in them. Every time was just as intense as the first and every time his body had to be coached through it until it was ready. Howard held his breath and didn't dare move until Randy gave him the okay.

After about a minute of deep breathing, Randy nodded and Howard pressed in just a little more.

Randy's handsome face scrunched in pain and gripped the floor but only for a short time. He then nodded a second time and Howard knew that he was fully ready to take him.

He began a slow, steady pace, not quite sure the lanky youth was ready for anything faster yet, and gently bumped his ample waist between Randy's open legs.

"How does my lower fist feel, grave?" he asked, so as not to leave an overly long pause. He hated videos like that.

"It feels...so good...Mr. Grave Puncher," Randy moaned in time with Howard's small thrusts but, instead of speeding up or keeping the same pace, Howard slowed down.

Randy cracked open a blue eye and saw the redhead smirking down at him.

"You say that over and over. I want you to be more descriptive for me."

Randy's face visibly heated up and looked like he was about to protest, but Howard cut him off. "Or maybe I really should just pull out and punch you until you're destroyed."

Randy looked frantically and pleadingly into Howard's eyes, wishing that he would just destroy him between his thighs, obliterate him with his cock until he forgot his own name and where he was. But, Randy could tell that his biffer wouldn't pick up the pace until he said something utterly embarrassing.

He looked down, too shy to watch Howard's reaction to his clichéd words.

"I love..." Randy stopped until Howard inched back in slowly, making him shiver with need. "I love how you punch into my ass with your lower fist. Please don't stop."

It was like a switch had been flipped. Suddenly Howard's hips were working overtime in a flurry of movement, shoving his waist into Randy's and delving his cock deeper into the 'grave's' entrance.

"You really like it?" Howard asked in a desperate tone that Randy knew meant his biffer was starting to loose control.

"Yes! I love it!"

"Yeah?" the redhead whined.

"Yeah, Howie! Just like that!" Randy found that he couldn't control his voice, but it didn't matter. They'd been alone in Randy's spacious house for hours now and would be the rest of the night.

Howard took hold of Randy's wrists and pinned them on the floor near his slim sides, using them as grips for his fervent thrusting, and leant to pull Randy's shirt hem higher with his mouth. Once he exposed enough of his thin chest, Howard licked and sucked insistently at a puckered nipple, all while never breaking the rhythm of his hips.

The ravenette began panting and moaning almost to the point of hyperventilation. Honestly, Howard was surprised that he hadn't gotten hiccups from his obvious pleasure.

Randy's gaze roamed all over the room, not really sure what to look at until his eyes fell on the camera, it's 'record' light flashing innocently to remind him, once again, that he was being filmed. Suddenly, Randy gave a panicked declaration of: "I'm...Oh, God! I'm gonna cum!"

"Already? Wow, I must be better than I thou-"

Randy's primal scream cut him off as he spasmed and jerked with his climax. His eyes rolled involuntarily toward the ceiling yet stared at nothing, a look of pure bliss on his face. His rapidly contracting muscles sucked Howard in and refused to let go, so, against his wishes, the redhead was pulled over the edge as well.

It was odd. The normal feeling of reaching completion was there, but knowing that they were being filmed had somehow added another layer to the pleasure and prolonged their normal gut clenching euphoria.

"We have to do that again," Randy huffed out with a dopey grin, still high on the after shocks of his orgasm.

Howard's softening cock gave an interested jump inside Randy. "Like, soon or, like, right now?"

The svelte youth shakily got up on his elbows and smiled below Howard.

"What do you think?"

* * *

Why did they film themselves? Why Grave Puncher? Who's going to see this video? Who the heck knows! XD Like I said, it's PWP. I hope you all enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought of it. :) Happy Holidays!


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